STORMY HORIZONS
by EndlessRedFire
Summary: Successful Author Isabella Swan follows her heart to New York, to only have her hopes and dreams have turned into nightmares in a spiraling story of love, sex, murder, and lies. The seas of your life will never be the same on her journey to love...into the stormy eyes of the unknown. Will she drown or will she find refuge in new troubled waters...Edward
1. Chapter 1

**I hope you enjoy this story that I have written, I do not own anything Twilight but the story is my own enjoy:**

**Chapter 1: My Flaming Heart**

**Hot fires burn to the soul from the betrayal of the heart. I look into the broken mirror before me **

**and see the reflections of my shattered heart. Dark waters crash upon these desolate shores; **

**that are now my life. I hopeless try to run from the images my mind displays before me...to now **

**avail. I've tasted her perfume tainted kisses from your lips more nights then I wish to recall; I **

**want to project the disgust I feel but I choose to let it fuel the fire inside of me. The only time **

**that you come to our bed anymore is when she is in her less than womanly ways...Am I just a **

**passing ship in the night to you now. Is that how you see me? You're no longer the leading man **

**in my dreams but the reaper that dominates my nightmares. I run my hands over my face **

**wanting to wipe away the memories but they're embedded in my mind for eternity. My tears rain **

**hot upon my breast reminding me of the hole in my chest as I shake with fiery. I hate that I **

**love you after all that you have done to me. I look to my surroundings for they truly are; a **

**hollow prison. It exudes luxuries that some people would kill for but I only see my purgatory. My **

**hard work wasted into nothing. I have to get out of this life before it becomes my death. My **

**mind tells me to leave but my body tells me to stay. I crave your touch and my body wants to **

**drink you in but my heart can't commit, you have never touched me there. My heart is one place **

**I keep locked away from this life. It may be broken but not lost… it can mend with time. You **

**have been my teacher in bed and I know no other way to love. I still carry the scars from our **

**past encounters. I can't leave now. Where would I go? I've ran so many times only to return at **

**your seductive whispering in the twilight hour. Dark clouds bring rain and I only wish it would **

**flood and wash away my sorrows. I know when you come I will submit to my own undoing. My **

**weakness for you sickens me to my core. What a long night this will be, me alone again on our **

**anniversary…I know the apologies and regrets will come like always. I stare through watery **

**pools into my glass of wine in hopes to drown in my sorrows.**

**A knock at the door pulls me out of my misery, if only for a moment. I know it's time to put on **

**my happy face like I always manage after your continuous disappointments. I wipe my tear **

**streaked face and straighten my short attire. I slip into my stilettos and now I truly feel cheap. **

**My heart is beating a tattoo in my chest as I walk to the door. I look through the key hole to see **

**a delivery guy waiting at the door. I can only see the top of his cap. I open the door and take a **

**deep breathe because I know I look a sight. I try for a look of indifference. "Yes sir may I help **

**you. I wasn't expecting any package this evening." He looks up from writing on his signature **

**board, "The package say here it's for suite 2002B Isabella Swan… are you…" His eyes take in my **

**appearance and I want to hide myself. I want to look away but his eyes are a mesmerizing **

**shade of grey. I stand exposed before this earthly angel. I'm unable to move trapped by his **

**penetrating gaze. His eyes are the place of peace if only for a moment, but somehow they look **

**sad the longer I stare into them. I look away feeling naked before him. "You're not my normal… **

**delivery guy and why are you here so late?" My fingers touch his as he hands me the package **

**and time stops. I drop the box and he blinks rapidly as he gathers his bearings. "I'm sorry …it's **

**just… you seem so umm… familiar to me. I don't know what's come over me. Please accept my **

**apology. This is not my normal route. I'm filling in for Anthony his wife is having a…baby and **

**well here I am." I smile politely because that's all I know to do as he picks up the box and **

**hands it to me again. He's careful not to touch me this time…did he feel it to. "Please sign here **

**Ms. Swan and I will be on my way." I feel his eyes on me as I sign. I let my eyes roam his body **

**then back to his beautiful face. I bite my lip softly in hope to hide my smile. I can't believe that **

**I'm ogling him this way. OMG I think he caught me looking. I can feel my cheek heat **

**immediately. His eyes soften and he begins to smile. "Thank you Ms. Swan I hope that you have **

**a good evening." He smiles back at me over his shoulder as he turns and walks away. I want to **

**close the door but I'm frozen by our brief encounter. Why do I feel so naked and unsure when **

**he looks at me? He waves without looking back, "Goodnight Ms. Swan" that's when I see it. The **

**light from the hall way catches its brilliance…a ring. He's married, great now I know this night **

**has taken dive. I would never become involved with a married man. I know all too well how it **

**feels to wear that shoe even if we're not married. I roll my eyes skyward cast one last look in **

**his direction. He stops at the elevator and turns back to me as I began to close the door. "Ms. **

**Swan, please forgive me for being too forward in saying, you are a very beautiful woman your **

**face should never look that way. I've seen that look you have in your eyes once before. **

**Whatever causes that much pain can only end tragically. Trust me I know." He stares at me and **

**for a moment I see something else there. He smiles "Sei bella dentro e fuori." He steps onto the **

**elevator without another word. Anger courses through me as I watch the doors close between **

**us.**

**I slam the door knowing deep inside that he meant no harm or disrespect. The storm outside my **

**windows; echoes the storm inside of my head. I'm left in soul crushing silence again with my **

**own thoughts to haunt me. How does he know what's on the inside of me? He doesn't even **

**know me. If only he could see the darkness that taints my soul. I felt so ashamed before him **

**and I don't even know him. His eyes were beautiful but unforgiving somehow. I will never forget **

**them. I shake the image of the handsome strange from my mind. I have a long list of my own **

**issues to worry about starting with this box. I walk slowly to the couch as I wipe away my tears. **

**The box is from my publisher, they have decided to give me more time to finish my book with **

**underlined terms that it makes the best sellers list. I let my head fall back drink in the only **

**comfort I can find at the moment. I try to gather my thoughts but the only feeling I feel is pain **

**and hurt. I am a very successful author and have written many books. The books I write are an **

**expression of my emotions and how I deal with them. It's a joke really, I know. How can I help **

**others and do books signing with a smile that is not true. These are real life experiences **

**expressed through my poetry and stories of forgiveness. I know I've helped a lot of people **

**including my best friend Alice. Alice…I miss her greatly. Maybe I should call to see how she is. **

**Her absence in my life lately is becoming too much to bare. I know she had to move with her **

**husband for better business ventures but that doesn't make me miss her any less. Knowing her **

**reason for moving still doesn't change my longing for her friendship. I reach for the phone on **

**the table but instead grab my glass of wine. I can't let her hear me like this. I sit the box to the **

**side I can't deal with that right now. I walk over to the window as a curtain of rain blurs the **

**city's light down below. The city of New York is a place where dreams are brought to life. **

**Dreams can also be destroyed here like anywhere in the blink of an eye. I guess that's the way **

**life works; you win some and you lose some. I have gained a successful career but lost the one **

**thing I wanted most, love.**

** I meet Mike Newton my fiancé, in college and he was so full of life. He was also smart as they **

**come. He was the sexiest man on campus. I fell in love at first sight…At least that what I **

**thought then. I had never been with a man in a sexual way. I was always afraid of the road that **

**would lead me down and now I know why. Mike has always been a very good lover but not very **

**loving during the act. His lovemaking left me scared in more ways than one. He never holds me **

**or kisses me after we make love…well after I make love. A few years ago we tried to have a **

**baby and I have never been able to get pregnant and he blames me for it. Our relationship after **

**that turned more into a financial partnership. I have invested a lot of my money into Mike's **

**financial ventures in the past and it has cost me greatly. Mike has been trying to become a **

**partner at C.C Holdings and Acquisitions firm. He begin staying a few hours late at the office **

**when he first started, I understood due to the business that he is in. Those hours turned into **

**days and nights. Those hours have now become weeks at a time. He stays out of town on **

**business so much I feel like I live alone. I know he is seeing someone and I have known for a **

**while but it's a subject that is off limits. I feel so trapped in this tangled web of deceit and lies. I **

**just want him to come home and tell me it's over because every time I leave, he begs me to **

**come back and not to leave him again. He reminds me of the promises that we made when we **

**left Florida; that we would always remain true and that we would always stay together. I kept **

**my side of the bargain but he didn't. I bring the cold crystal to my lips and I'm reminded how **

**much I hate red wine. I only drink it because he likes it. I walk over to sink to pour it down the **

**drain. I pause and look to the mirrored walls seeing a reflection of someone I don't know. I **

**have lost at least 20 pounds and not a good 20. My face is pale and dark spots of mascara mask **

**my cheeks. I have more makeup on then the law should allow but Mike likes me looking slutty **

**for him when we are alone…it is so degrading. I watch the now cold food on the table. I had it **

**catered in for our anniversary. It is all wasted and the candles have burned down devoid of **

**warmth…sounds like me. I have called him more times than I can count but it goes straight to **

**voice mail. My heart starts to beat rapidly and I feel like I'm about to spend out of control. I **

**throw the crystal glass down into the sink and it shatter into hundreds of pieces. I can't believe **

**I've stayed here this long I have to get out tonight. I pull the stilettos off and throw them to the **

**floor. I look around the room and finally I realized something I never have before. I'm in prison **

**here truly. I have nothing that belongs to me but my laptop and a few clothes that I like to wear. **

**This clinical apartment of grays, blacks, and beiges is not me at all. This is all Mike down to this **

**trashy outfit I have on. I walk hurriedly to the window to see if I see his car parked out front. **

**Just as I reach the window I hear the keys turn in the lock. I stop, I can't move or breathe. He **

**walks in and I have my back to him so that he can't see my face. "Isabella…. I ….I'm going to **

**take a shower could you fix me a glass of wine so I can tell you what happened and why I'm **

**late. You would never believe what happen to me." He stops by the bedroom door. I know he is **

**waiting on a response from me. Here goes nothing, "I know you have things that have to be **

**taken care of so take your shower I'll be waiting for you. Would you like me to reheat your **

**food?" I can hear the triumphant smile in his voice as he answers, "No I ate at the office but **

**dessert would be nice. I will take a side of you when I get out." I wiggle my hips because I **

**know he likes that and I won't have to look at him. I know my face will betray me if I face him **

**now. I really just want to throw up. I smelled her Chanel perfume when he walked in so I know **

**he has been with her. Now he wants to put his filthy hands on me…never again. I hear the **

**bathroom door close and decide the time to leave is now, while I can. I will not succumb to his **

**sexual thralls tonight. I have to get out of this for the last time and this time I will not come **

**back. I hear the water running and like always I know that I have 20 minutes, I have no idea **

**what he does in there so long. I pull my suitcase from the closet. The one I had in college not **

**the expensive one he bought with my money. I pack my sweats, a few dresses and pantsuits for **

**work. I store my laptop in there as well. I can always buy more clothes later. His voice calls out **

**from the bathroom, "Isabella, you know how I like my wine." I reply and continue to unpack. I **

**need to move faster, I grab a bottle of coconut rum that I had hidden in the back of the closet. **

**I'm sure I'm going to need a few drinks to sleep tonight for sure. I pull the dress off and slip on **

**a pair of my college sweats. I grab my suitcase and head toward the door. I turn back and take **

**a final look into my pass. We had some fun times here but the bad far outweigh the good. I leave **

**a note that I need time to myself to figure out what I want for the rest of my life and not to try **

**contacting me. I know that he does not respect my wishes and will throw the note away. I take **

**off the engagement ring that I received a few years back when times were different. I place it on **

**top of the note and leave it next to his glass of wine. I hope he enjoys it because that will be the **

**last glass I will ever fix for him.**

**I close the door quietly and head down the corridor toward the elevator. I push the call button **

**and the delivery guy comes to mind. I can only smile through all the sadness. Why did his words **

**touch me so? I look back to the door that once was my home and think of all our dreams…or at **

**least my dreams. He carried me over the threshold and we made love all day in the hopes of **

**making our first baby. The ping of the elevator brings me back to the now and I know that this is **

**going to be hardest thing I've ever done. I take the elevator down to the first circle of my hell…**

**or maybe my heaven…who knows.**

**I walk head down out into the stormy night. I glance at my watch and notice I have only 5 **

**minutes before he begins looking for me. I look up at the window to our…his apartment and the **

**cold rain feels so good and cleansing to my hot face. I run to my BMW M6 and throw my bags in **

**back and climb into the safety and solitude of my car. The realization of what I'm doing final **

**hits me and I can no long contain my screams and the pain I feel inside. I scream as loudly as I **

**can behind the wall of rain...it feels so good to scream. I lean my head back against the seat. **

**Where am I going to go? What am I going to do? I have a meeting in the morning with my **

**editors I can't go far…my office. I have a side bed room in my office. That's where I will go, I **

**know he will not follow because I have done this before and I have always come back to him. **

**This time feels different somehow and I will take it a day at a time. I will not talk to him or see **

**him. I turn my key and my car purrs to life. The windshield wipers allow me to look at the **

**window of the apartment one last time and I know inside he will be there. I look and there he is, **

**naked waist up wrapped in his black towel…then my phone rings. I know it's him but I will not **

**answer it. I can't do this to myself; I pull out into the traffic heading toward my office. He only **

**calls once but I know what he his thinking and it makes me mad. He thinks that he has that type **

**of control over me…well he doesn't… anymore.**

**I arrive to my office building and grab my things from the trunk of my car including the bottle of **

**rum. I hurry out of the rain I have a key card that will let me into the side entrance away from **

**questioning eyes. I take the elevator to the 12****th**** floor and step into the confines my office. I take **

**my laptop out and make my nightly author's note on my webpage. It's just an inspirational **

**quote or two, "Never let lust stand in the way of true love and true progress in your life." I read **

**a few questions and reply to a few. I close my laptop and grab a glass from my desk. I spin **

**around in my chair and stare out into the night. The rain ends just in time to see a shooting star **

**and in this city that is very rare. I close my eyes and say a silent prayer that tomorrow will bring **

**sunshine my way because tonight is the darkest it's ever been. I drink myself into a stupor and **

**the last thing I remember is my face hitting the pillow. Good night sweet sorrow misery needs **

**my company.**

**Author's closing notes:**

**I hope that everyone likes this story please review if you want more.**

**EndlessRedFire**


	2. Chapter 2

Hello Everyone,

I hope that you enjoyed my first chapter and this one as well. I will post chapter 3 soon happy reading…

Chapter 2: No Promises No Regrets

* * *

I wake to a pounding in my head and on my door. "Really, who is it?" I hear the last voice that I want to hear right now.

She can't see me like this. She will have too many questions. "Isabella its Ms. Peters I have been trying to call you for

the last two hours. You have an eleven o'clock appointment with the Jameson Brothers. You can't miss it and it is ten o'

clock now. You have six messages from Mr. Newton he really wants to speak with you. I think you should return his call;

he sounds so upset and worried." I don't have time to think about this right now; but I do need to clean up from last

night's eventful evening. "I'll be ready for the Jameson brother's meeting. Please just bring something for my headache

and sit it on my desk. Please hold all my calls, especially from Mr. Newton. I don't want or need to talk to him right now.

If he tries to come by tell him I'm in a meeting and can't be disturbed. Have his keycard deactivated as soon as possible.

Thank you, Ms. Peters for the wakeup call." She stands at the door, "Ms. Swan he really seems concerned for you maybe

you should at least call him." Now my anger flares and I can't hold it back. "Ms. Peters you are here to monitor my

professional life not my personal one. I don't need to be told what I should do if you don't mind." I immediately feel bad

about how I reacted. I know my reaction has nothing to do with her but she just doesn't know what he's put me

through. I walk over to the door to see if she is still there to apologize but I can hear my office door close quietly in the

distance. I can't think about this right now; I have to get a shower and get dressed for my meeting. I walk over to my

suite case and unzip it to find the one power suit that I have with me. I love this one it compliments my figure or at least

it did. It's a black pinstriped jacket with a white ruffled blouse and a neat fitted fan tail penciled skirt. I pull out my black

heels with the zipper up the back. I know this is just what I need. I look around at the room and remember when I had

it changed into a bedroom suite. It was to be a romantic jester for Mike to visit me in the middle of the day or night. It

has sadly turned into my safe house. I can't believe how things have changed. I stop the single tear in its tracks. I don't

have time for pathetic sympathies now. I will have time to cry later.

The shower feels good on my skin as I wash my hair. I run my hands over my face and feel how much weight I have

lost. I don't like this at all; I have always been curvy but petite, with a creamy tone to match. My mother, Rene is from

Italy and my father, Charlie was from the small town of Forks Washington. I have long dark hair down to my waist which

I have wrapped in a bun on top of my head most days. I feel like my eyes are my best feature they are a dark chocolate

in color but now days they don't have the sparkle they use to. The light is no longer there. I look over to the clock and

see that it is now 10:30am and I need to get out of here. The warm water reminds me of a tropical get away and makes

me dream of long white sand beaches. That may not be such a bad idea since I have more time to focus on my book. I

also haven't seen my mom in a long time; I really need to see if she is alright. I've tried to honor her wishes but it's

been a year since my father's death. I didn't make it in time for my father's funeral. Mike was late with buying the

tickets and we missed our flight. I didn't get to make it until the next evening and let's just say I didn't get a warm

welcome from my younger sister Angela. I don't blame her really I should have taken care of the tickets myself. I think

back to how Mike never apologized for making me late and he never once held me as I cried over my father's death.

Those should have been all the signs I needed back then that it was over between us. I haven't spoken to my family

since and I feel ashamed. I just don't know what I can say or if they would even want to see me. Mike has been my

world for so long that I have let all of my family slip away from me. I have to do something to fix that.

I've finish drying myself and slip into my clothes quickly. I wrap my hair into my classic bun and apply a light pink lip

gloss…no makeup. I look in the mirror and for once in a long time I really see myself and it feels good. My heart soars

when I hear my phone ring because I know that ringtone from anywhere "I'm a survivor" I hurry to grab it. "Alice, you

have no idea how much I've missed you. What have you been up to?" She laughs, "I guess you really miss me, huh. I

have missed you to Bella more than you can imagine. I can't wait to see you. I want to have lunch with you today at

Gino's. I have so much to tell you." My heart takes flight just at the thought of seeing my best friend; it's been over a

month. "Alice, are you in town now?" I spin around in my chair I can't believe it. "I am and I have some wonderful news

that I want to share with you in person." Alice voice lifts my mood right away. "What time do you want to meet up?" I

think about it and a surprise of my own comes to mind. "I have a meeting with my editors and one stop on the way to

there. I can meet you at…let's say one?" Alice is singing a song on the radio and sound so free…alive. I am so happy that

she is at last at peace in her life. "That will be perfect I have to get Jasper's car from the airport at 2:30pm. I will get

there a little early at Gino's to go ahead and order for the both of us. You always order the same thing any way Bella;

the Fettuccine Alfredo with chicken and mushrooms right?" I can only smile "You got it, I can't wait to see you it's been

too long." I smiles and roll my eyes because she knows me so well. "Bye Alice" she replies back in her most flamboyant

voice, "Goodbye Bella Daaaallling" and she hangs up. I fall back in my chair and feel totally rejuvenated after our

conversation. My desk phone buzzes and I know that the Jameson Brothers have arrived. "See them in Sandy."

The meeting is productive and I feel like I'm on cloud nine and know the direction I want to take this next book in. I

think my readers will love it and I will have a chance to write about something other than love lost. This book will have a

happy ending for once…I hope.

I grab my laptop and pantsuit that I want to get an extra press done. I feel so good and things seem to be going my

way. I also feel like I need to straighten things out with Ms. Peters. I walk out and Ms. Peter's is typing away at her desk

and she does look up like she normally does when I walked out. "Sandy, I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for

speaking to you the way I did. You have been very kind to me and I never want to mess up the work/friendship that I

have come to cherish. I know you may see Mike in one light but I can promise you I'm making a good decision not

taking his calls. He is just no good for me anymore so please respect me in this." I wait for a response but when one

doesn't come I walk toward the elevator. "Ms. Swan, I just don't want you to end up like me alone and lonely. I have

nothing but my work to keep me busy. It's too late for me to find love but not for you. Mr. Newton is very successful and

handsome. He doesn't put his hands on you does he?" I look at her in a way I never have before and for the first time I

see her past laid before me and know we are looking at my life from two different time periods. Sandy's from a time

when you let things happen for the sake of having a stable life and looking good in the public eye. "Sandy, I know things

were different back when were my age. I know that women didn't have many options back then. I am successful by my

own merit and I don't need Mike to support me. I need to be loved and adored by someone who will wants and needs

only me. Mike feels he has to spread his love around. I don't need that in my life…I want more." She stares at me for

what seems like an eternity. "Isabella, you are stronger then I am and I just don't have it in me to try and start over. I

can see in your eyes the emotional hurt he has delivered in his wake. You were so good at hiding your feelings before… I

never knew it was that bad. I'm sorry I should have kept my big mouth shut. I will respect your wishes and not speak of

this again. I do wish you all the best Isabella. You are the closest thing I have to family here in the states. My only

daughter lives in London and I have not been able to see her and my granddaughter. Maybe in the next few months I

can take a break and save up some money to go." I smile at her knowing that right now I can't offer to let her off due to

the new book being released in a few months. "I hope so to Sandy, maybe she can come and visit you." She looks at me

sadly, "She can't afford that right now… even though, she has never been here. I would love if I could move her here

especially after her husband died a few years back. She is still working with immigration and if all goes well maybe in a

few years." I feel so bad for her just when you think your life is going bad you have to know there are others out there

with bigger issues. "Sandy, it will work out somehow I'm sure of it." I smile at her and she nods solemnly and turns back

to the computer and continues to type. I never knew these things about Sandy and they really help me to see her

differently. The elevator closes and I'm on my way to a happier place; to see my best friend.

I'm exiting the revolving doors of the building until I hear a loud bang and then a rip. I look back to find skirt tail is

caught in the door. The question is why did it door stop spinning? I look up to see what happen and that when I see

smoky gray eyes staring back at me. He has me locked in his gaze unable to let go. I shake my head and look down at

my ripped skirt. "Ms. Swan I'm so sorry, I dropped these boxes. I look down and see the boxes at his feet jamming the

door. That's where the big bang came from. He bends down and picks up the boxes. The door moves and I can get out

of the hot enclosure. The cool breeze from outside hits me in the face and I can take a deep breath. I look back over my

shoulder to see him sitting the boxes down inside and coming back out. I grab my ripped skirt and start to walk away I

don't have time for this. I look at my watch and its 12:00pm already and I need to get to Ellie's Cheesecake shop. "Ms.

Swan, please wait let me pay for your dress. This is all my fault and I have to do something to make up for this." I turn

to him face him and his smoldering eyes captures me. I look at his work shirt and see the name Edward. "Listen…

Edward, you don't have to worry this dress is more than… expensive and I don't really care all that much for it. I will just

have it stitched and it will be as good as new." I start to turn away until I hear him laugh, "You don't think I can pay for

it, do you?'' I turn back to him not knowing what to say. "I am trying to be nice here that is all. I can pay for my own

dress." I stare back at him boiling on low. "The least I can do is paint a portrait of you, if you would allow me to? I paint

professionally and teach classes over at the university in my spare time. I have an exhibition in a week; I would love to

display your portrait at the exhibit." I'm flattered until I see the ring on his finger and know this is playing with fire. "I

can't I'm sorry but I will offer this too you instead. We have somehow run into one another the pass two days. If we see

each other again I will let you paint me…deal?" He smiles at me in a way that makes me feel naked before him and now

I know how other women feel when they see Mike and I look away. "Deal" he says as he pulls off his cap and a head full

soft bronze hair fall over his eyes and I want to expire before him. He is so beautiful and I can only imagine how it would

feel to run my hand through it. I walk away while I still have my bearings. "Goodbye Ms. Swan again I am…sorry." I turn

back when I hear his voice. His words almost sound like he is apologizing for more. I see him working away and feel it is

best not to ask what's behind his peculiar tone. I wait until I can no longer see him and I make my way to my car to see

if I can change in my back seat. Oh, this is going to be great. Then a thought comes to me I'll just put on the black

slacks they'll fit excellent with the pin stripped jacket. I get in and slip on my pants and thank the heavens that it is a

private parking area. I look in the mirror and check my makeup and decide to switch it up a little. I let my hair down and

it tumble down my back. Wow, what a difference your hair down can make. I almost look hot. I pull out into traffic and

head toward Ellie's and then my phone rings. I know that sound anywhere "It the theme song from nightmare on elm

street." I just changed it last night. I need to answer him before he comes looking for me. It's too soon to see him right

now. "Hello Mike" he breathes deeply, "So Isabella, how long are you planning on playing this little game this time. I

have to say I was rather mad when you wouldn't return any of my calls. I know you are a little upset about the

anniversary dinner. I will make it up to you when I get back from my business trip. I should be back in a couple of weeks

from Miami and I expect you to be back in our home by then." I wonder, "Can I just come with you so we can spend

some time together?" He cuts me off and here comes the excuses, "Bella, I will not have time for you. I will be in

meeting all day and preparing all night. I have told you this plenty of times and I don't like repeating myself. I will see

you once I return…again back home." He hangs up.

I can't believe I was even willing to try again. I don't know what sick side of me wants him. He does nothing but hurt

me, but I continue to hold on to a false hope that one day he will come around. I give up; I can't keep doing this to

myself. Every time I open myself up to hope for more, I only find less. I am such a fool and the thought sicken me. It

hurts so much that I do not see him for the user that he really is. I can barely see the road ahead through my tears. I

have to hit the brakes to keep from hit an elderly couple crossing the street. I try to get it together but then I see the

elderly husband protectively step in front of her I nearly fall apart. That was supposed to be us on our golden years and

now that's all lost to lust. I wave sadly at them as they move on looking at me angrily. I turn my radio on a station that I

know plays up beat music to hopefully drown my sorrows. The station doesn't fail me; it gives me a classic from Pearl

Jam I can only laugh and smile. I instantly feel better but deep down in my gut I still feel a great emptiness. I look

ahead and see Ellie's in the distance and momentarily forget my nightmare of a life.

Ellie's is in its normal midday swing of place orders and people all around eating lunch. The place has a life to it that

makes you warm inside. The light peaks through the stained glass windows giving the place a feeling of home and

comfort. I'm in line behind a lady dress in heels as high as the law will allow and a dress that is just as high up her thigh.

She is very attractive in a dangerous kind of way until she opens her mouth. "He is so good in bed and I can't wait until

we are alone so I can show him how much I appreciate the shopping spree he took me on yesterday." She looks back at

me over her shoulder and winks at me. She turns back at the call for the next person in line and places her order. My

phone rings and it's Sandy, "Hey Sandy " she's silent and then she whispers into the line, "You have a special delivery

from you know who would you like me to send them back." I think for a moment and know right away the best thing to

do is return them. "Yes, send them back Sandy and if he sends anything else please return it for me. I don't want

anything from him." I hear her talking to the delivery guy, "These flowers need to be return to the sender." She comes

back to the line, "I did as you requested and is there anything else before I step out for lunch Ms. Swan?" I think for a

moment, "Yes one thing you can do for me is to hold all my calls for the rest of the afternoon and take the rest of the

day off with pay." I could hear her breath sharply, "Ms. Swan, thank you but what will I do. I have nowhere else to go." I

think quickly and have a great idea for her, "I want you to meet Johnny my driver down stairs in about a half hour and I

will take care of the rest. And Sandy, if Johnny tells me you gave him a hard time you will have some explaining to do. I

want you to let me do this for you and I promise you will not regret it."

She is so quiet I thought she dropped the line, "Yes Ms. Swan but none of that funny business my heart can take seeing

young men in G- strings." I hear the smile in her voice. "None of that now you have to play nice. I will send him by soon

and don't worry about a dress I will take care of all of that. Have a great time tonight. I'm going to have you very busy

tomorrow. Bye Sandy." I close the phone because I don't want any talk back she has been very good to me over the

years and it's time I show her how much I appreciate her. I hear the cashier call next and it's my time to place my order.

I get in my car and I have 15 minutes to make it to Gino's. I call Johnny my driver, "Good afternoon Ms. Swan, how can

I help you today?" I can only smile he is so sweet and father like to me. I know he has always had a thing for Ms.

Peters; this may work better than I thought. "Well Johnny it's your lucky day I have a little job for you. I want you to

pick up Ms. Peters for me and take her to my hairdresser and then to the boutique down and 24th avenue you know the

place. I also want you to take her out to dinner at Tri-City classic English cuisine. Please show her a nice time and make

her feel special because she is… to me." For once Johnny is speechless and trust me he is never speechless. "Ms. Swan,

are you sure she will go for it." I giggle with excitement, "Trust me she will be all peaches and cream for you. Seriously,

she is really a nice lady but she has been thru a lot so handle her with care. I know you like her anyway I see the way

you look at her." I can hear the smile in his voice as he replies, "She is a classy lady and it would be an honor to show

her a beautiful evening. Thank you, you may even bring some life back to this old man. You are a good woman Ms. Swan

may the heavens bless you." Then he hangs up.

I arrive outside of Gino's at 12:55pm and I smile to myself because I made it even with all the drama in my life. I walk

in and see Alice. I just want to run over and hug her but this is a public place…oh what the hell. I run over to the window

seat that she picked and hug her from behind with my other hand over her eyes. "Guess who?" she smiles, "Oh let me

see…Ms. Cheesecake...oh Bella I can smell it." I take my hand off her eyes and put it on my hip as I stand. "You have a

nose like a bloodhound." I walk over to my sit opposite of hers. "You look…good but a little thin Bella. What's going on

with you? I've never seen you this small. You figure was perfect or ….does this have something to do with that ass hat

you live with?" I look down at my hands as silent tears roll down my cheeks, "I left him Alice and I hope this time I have

the strength to stay way. I have loved him as long as I remember. I don't know any other way to be. The stress of his

affair has been killing me inside and I guess this is a reflection of that." I say as I hold my arms out. Alice looks at me in

horror, "Bella, I didn't know things had gotten this bad. I thought you were doing better." I look up at the ceiling to keep

my unshed tears at bay. "Alice, it's been this bad since I haven't been able to get pregnant. He blames me for it but

every time I make an appointment to see a fertility specialist he always cancels on me. He use to just be late getting

home but now I see him once a week or two if I'm lucky. I have not been intimate with him in over five months. The last

time we had sex it was so brutal and quick I didn't feel anything from it. I felt like I was raped. I can't go back to that

life, he won't change. I want out of this relationship permanently." I lose the battle with my tears and they run hot down

my face. "Bella, why didn't you ask for my help? I would have offered my home without hesitation. You need to get away

why you still can. I remember a time when I was getting beaten black and blue you helped me not to go back. This may

not be physical yet… but the mental abuse is just as bad. I will never forget the day of your first book signing and you

saw the need I had for your help. You offered to have lunch with me and that day change my life forever. I will never

forget that day as long as I live. I thought the marriage that I was in had no way out but my death. Your books help me

to see I was not alone. I just didn't know until today; you were writing about yourself. Bella, I have read every book you

wrote. Was all of those books about your own life?" She chokes on her last words as the realism hits home. I suddenly

feel ashamed as if I can see my life for the first time for what it is…a death sentence. I don't want to ever go back to

that life? Ninety-nine percent of me scream no but the one percent that sits in the dark with his hands around her neck

in submission smiles and nods yes… seductively? I can't believe this has become my life. "Alice, I just coped by writing

about my life and imagining it was someone else. I know there is another life out there for me and this is not it. It's just

that every time I leave him he always find ways to pull me back. I feel like he finds joy out of my submission each time.

I don't know what to do maybe I would have left a long time ago if I could just see him with her. He is always so careful

so I haven't been able to catch him. I don't know what I would do if I did or how I would react." The waiter arrives with

our food sitting it down and walking away without a word. "Bella, I will help you as long as you promise me that this is

the last time and you will not go back to him." I nod silently pleading with my eyes, "Just tell me what to do and I will do

it. I just don't even know where to start. He always finds me where ever I ran in the pass." I look at a passing couple in

love walking by and it pulls at my very soul. "Bella, you have always wanted him to find you in the past. If you are truly

done than I have an idea that may work. We will have a great lunch and you will ride with me to the airport. You can

check the rental back in while I get Jasper's car from the parking area. I will meet you at the east gate exit." I smile at

her and wipe the last few tears from my chin. I nod in agreement as I reach to the side and pull our cheesecake out of

the bag. "Blueberry lemon, Bella how did you know this is what I needed for this special occasion." She laughs give me

the classic Alice's I love you more that life smile. "So what is this good new you have to tell me?" She widens her eyes

as she shovels down a mouthful of Alfredo and Tomato pasta. "Bella, I have to tell you this great news and then I have a

very important question to ask you." I look at her and I can't help at her child like reaction. "Alice, the last time you said

those exact words to me Jasper asked you to marry him. I don't think anything can top that." She bounces up and down

in her seat. She holds out a document and as I read over it I can no longer contain my tears. Each word I read aloud

makes my heart want to burst with joy. "Alice, these are the final Adoption papers for a newborn baby girl…Rose. Oh

Alice I can't believe you are finally getting the baby you have always wanted." I hold her hands and bounce in my seat

happy; truly happy for her she deserves it after all she has been through in her life. "When do you get to bring her home

Alice?" She folds the documents back up and put them into her bag. "Bella, that's what I wanted to talk to you about.

We will be bringing her home in a week and I wanted to know if you will be able to come down. I know its short notice

but I want her God Mother to be there to welcome her home too." She looks at me with a silly smile until it finally hits

home what she is asking me. "Alice, you want me to be her god mother?" she nods with tears in her eyes. "I know that

you will be the best choice and I trust you with my life and hers. So please say you will do it for me…for her." I can't help

but to think of the mess my life is in. I don't know if I should have a baby around me like this. "Alice, are you sure? My

life is a mess right now and I don't know if I'm on solid enough ground for this job…privilege." Alice leans over until I can

feel her breath on my face. She stares into my eyes with an unyielding resolve. "I know that you will make it out this

time. I will help you and again I do not trust anyone more than you." She stares at me will a stony look in her eyes. I

know that she will not back down from this. "Ok Alice, if you think I will be that best person than I would be honored to

be Rose's god mother. This will give me strength to get my own life right. Maybe I can find a husband one day and we

can adopt a child like you did." Even though the words cross my lips I don't believe them. Who would want me a broken

woman with a broken womb? "Alice pushes her plate aside and open her box of cheesecake. "Now we have a lot to

celebrate." She holds up her fork full of blueberry and I hold up my fork full of strawberry and we toast. "Here's to new

beginnings and new relationships." I smile on the outside as brightly as I can. The inside is as scared as a new baby bird

that's just starting to fly.

Author's note:

I hope everyone is enjoying my story and things are only beginning stay tune for my next update it will have you

spinning I promise.


	3. Chapter 3 Closing Doors

Chapter 3: Closing Old Doors

We finish our dessert and start to Alice's rental car. "Alice, I am really going to try. I know things have a way of working

out for the best. I think it's time for me to move on. I just don't know how to start." Alice smiles at me with a knowing

smile, "You know as well as I do that I know a lot about running. We get in the car and pull out from Gino's heading

toward the airport. "We can pick your car up on the way back from the airport." I nod and stare out the window as the

rain start to fall again. Alice began to say something but stops as her phone starts to ring. I look over to her and she

winks at me, I know right way it's Jasper. She holds up a finger to let me know she won't be too long. I can't help but

feel the love she exudes as she speaks to her husband. I look out the window and think back to the first time we met. It

was during my first book signing that I met Alice. She looked totally different the first time I saw her. She had bruises

that she was covering with too much make up. She looks very small and meek. I have never met anyone that felt so low

about themselves…at that time anyway. Her hand was shaking as she laid her copy of my book to sign before me. I

looked into her eyes and I could see she needed my help. I ask her if she would like to have lunch with me after the

signing. She was reluctant at first but I would not let her say no. We talked for hours and she was afraid then that she

would be beat for arriving home late. Alice's husband at the time was a known boxer and anytime he lost a fight then so

did she. He drank very heavily and had a very bad temper. She told me of the time he was so mad he kicked her in the

stomach until she was unconscious. She had to be rushed to the hospital by a neighbor that saw her lying in the hall

way. She lied for him and said she had been mugged. The doctors did all they could but said she would never have

children. She never recovered from that lost… she was pregnant at the time. I did not let her go home that night I put

her into a hotel on the other side of town. I knew nothing about her but something in her called to me. I had an attorney

friend that offered to help her for free. He was newly out of law school and felt bad for her. His father use to beat his

mother but the outcome was much worst… she died. Jasper represented Alice in her divorce case. When her husband

knew she was not coming back and his wrong doings was in the media, the press got to him and he shot himself. Alice

was left with all of his money and property. She finally went back to school to become a great therapist to domestic

violence victims. She later married Jasper her attorney turn love of her life. Now she will have her baby girl very soon

and her dream will be complete. I am blessed to be a part of it. I love her dearly. I look over and she is still giggling

away with Jasper and I couldn't be happier for her. We pull into the airport parking lot. "Hey Jazz, will you quit running

you trap for a moment. I'm at the airport and I have about 15 minutes to return this car. I love you, talk to you later

babe." She closes her eyes and holds the phone to her heart. "This is all thanks to you, Bella. I owe you my life." I look

at her and her eyes say it all. "Alice, you deserve and fought for everything you have. I was just there to give you a

nudge." Alice pushes me, "Well get ready to be nudged Bells."

Alice waves to me as she departs to get Jasper's car. I walk over to the rental counter to check the car in. The man at

the counter is so slow I know Alice will be waiting. Finally he checks me in. I turn ready to leave but my heart stops and

I feel like I could melt into the floor where I stand. It's the lady from the Ellie's cheesecake shop and holding her hand is

the one and only Mike Newton my fiancé…well ex fiancé. I feel an instant sickness and my fight or flight reflex kicks in.

The flight reflex wins over and I walk quietly behind the large potted plant next to the counter. I just want to crawl away

and die. I listen as they approach to check their luggage. "Jessica I can't wait to get you alone on the white sand

beaches of Hawaii. I hope you brought that string bikini with you and those dresses that I bought you yesterday." I put

my hand over my mouth to keep in the screams that are burning a hole inside. I feel my heart explode in my chest at

the betrayal I feel coursing through every fiber of my being. No pain I have ever felt comes close to this heartbreak,

stabbing pain I feel all over. I think I'm going to throw up. I take one final look at them and it's my undoing. He has his

arms wrapped around her waist from behind as she pulls on his ear while she whispers to him seductively. I run quietly

to the bathroom on the other side of the sitting area. I look to see that I'm the only one in there and I barely make it to

the toilet before I lose my entire lunch. I hear the door close as someone comes in. I try to quiet my dry heaving. "Are

you alright in there?" a voice calls from the other side of the stall. "I hope you not pregnant because I wouldn't wish that

on anyone. I don't like kids. Their dirty, stinky and I can't see myself being a mom ever. I'm only 20 anyway I'm loving

life right now. Great, it's Miss. to tight dress. All I want to do right now is ring her neck but she probably doesn't even

know about me. I pull my anger back and see this for what it is; a chance to get the truth strait from the source. I walk

out of the stall, "No, I'm not pregnant I just ate something that didn't agree with me." She looks over and a million watt

smile spreads over her face. "You are that lady from Ellie's. I remember you from earlier today. I hope it wasn't that

cheesecake because my fiancé and I had some earlier in back of his car during…well you can imagine." The need to cry

wants to take over but my anger won't allow it. "I see; well how long have you been with Mr. right? You look happy

together I saw as I came in." she rolls her eyes with a secret grin, "He's one of many. I have no real intention on

marrying him. He is something to do for right now but he is too old for me. I'm just having fun but I have been seeing

him off and on since I was 18years old. He is paying for me to go to nursing school. He actually thinks I'm going to give

him a child one day. Not with these hips. There is no baby ever coming from here. Look at me rambling on about myself.

I need to be going. We have to catch this flight. I have a guy that I'm seeing in Hawaii that I met the last time Mike and

I were there… Hot is the only word I have for him. Well nice seeing you again. I hope you feel better." She winks at me

and heads for the door. She stops and turns back, "You know you would probably be better for him than me. You look

like the family type and you are gorgeous. If you would ever be interested in joining us in some fun here is my card."

She shrugs as I shake my head. "A girl could dream." I'm unable to smile back overwhelmed and disgusted. I can't

believe this is what he leaves me alone for at night. This trash doesn't even want his ass. I watch through the crack in

the door as he grabs her hand. She whispers something in his ear and points back toward the bathroom. He smiles and

bits her lip. They run toward the boarding area. This is what he likes and what he wants. He wants to share his love in

more ways than one. I can't make the tears come and they are burning my very soul. I just can't seem to make them

come to the surface. I think of Alice and know I have make it to the car. She will be worried about me. I head out and

run toward the exit. I don't know what look I have etched on my face but everyone gets out of my path. I storm out of

the airport and head toward the car. Alice is already there huffing and pacing. When she sees my face she knows

something is wrong. "Bella, what's going on? You look like you could kill someone." I look at her and that's the key to

my tears. "Alice, I saw him with her ..." I can't speak another word. I fall against the car and let the flood gates open.

Alice pulls me into her arms and just let me cry. She doesn't ask or make a comment. I know we stand against the car

in the rain for what seems like hours. "Bella, get in and I'm going to take you to your office we will get your car or have

someone do it later." I look at her lost and numb. I nod and get into the car not caring what's ahead of me it's only mind

numbing pain I feel. All the years and all the time I sacrificed for him to better himself. I have lost my family's respect

and time I can never get back. The thought of him spending time with her while I sit home alone. It feels like someone

is stabbing me with a hot knife in my chest. I can't believe I played the fool so long. Alice drives and bites her lip and

she only does that when she is mad and thinking. That is a dangerous mix with Alice being involved trust me. "Bella, we

need to find you a new place tomorrow." I look at her, "We" she nods without looking at me. "I'm going to call Jasper

and let him know that I'm staying with you a couple of days." I start to protest but she puts her index finger over my lip.

"I prayed that someday I could repay you for what you did for me on January 17 by asking me out the lunch. I know this

is my chance to help and I will. So don't protest because it will not work." I let my head fall back and cry silently as she

drives.

The sound of thunder wakes me and I jump. I hit my head and it doesn't help that it already hurts. Alice cracks a smile

as she turns into my office building parking area. "Don't worry your big head didn't cause any damage to the car." I

can't help but to smile at her attempt to cheer me up. "I know what you're doing Alice. I just don't have the heart or

strength for a cheer up party. I just want to ball up and feel bad for myself." She grabs my chin and turns me to face

her, "Listen if anyone knows how you feel…I do. I will not lose you to this wreck of a relationship. You have to pick

yourself up and rebuild yourself. He can't break what's in here." She pokes me in the chest. "I hope you are not talking

about my heart because…" She stops me, "No Bella, not your heart it can be broken but it will mend but your spirit can

never be broken. He doesn't have that part of you. You spread it all around you so he can never have it. I want you to

take that love you have for life and others and give some to yourself." I look down at my hands, "I don't know if I can

Alice I've never been this lost." She unlocks the door, "Get out and let me start for you then." She jumps out and come

around to my side and pulls me out. We head toward the side entrance and away from questioning eyes. When we get

to the office I remember that I gave Ms. Peters the day off. I unlock the door to the office and turn on the lights. I walk

over and sit in my oversized chair. I turn to face Alice and she is smiling. She has the phone in hand, "Yes I would like

order two large pepperoni pizzas and any dessert that you have. I want it delivered around 6:00pm." I look at the clock

it's 4:30 in the afternoon…where did the time go. "I think we needs some spirits so wash away this dirty day and to

celebrate a new one. We are going to have a girl's night. We are going to put our hair in pigtails and wear sweats to

sleep. I know you have a pair for me. " I shake my head, "You are a force to be reckoned with. I know it's going to be a

long night." She holds up her finger as she looks at her phone its Jasper. "Hey babe, listen…" she head into the other

room to talk to him.

Alice grabs the chair from the back causing me to jump up. I must have fallen to sleep again. "Alice, you crazy …" she

falls back into the chair by the window laughing. "I just wanted to let you know Jasper is cool with everything. He also

had a little gift for us in his trunk. Come into the other room with me and I'll show you." She grabs me by the hand and

pulls me to my feet. We walk into the suite and there is a big basket of wine, fruit, and cracker. "He said that he knew

we haven't seen each other in a while that's why he sent me to get the car. He had this already in the trunk for us to

celebrate. He is hopeless but I love him dearly. I had to make some naughty promises for this one." She winks at me. "I

can't thank him enough just for sending you instead. That was a gift enough for me. We laugh and start opening the

basket.

Our food arrives and I feel famished. I guess all that throwing up will do that to a girl. We are now dressed in sweats

and fluffy socks. Our hair is in ponytails and no makeup insight. We eat until we can't eat anymore. The wine has me to

foggy to think strait and I love it. I hug Alice and we fall back onto the bed. My phone buzzes. "It's Ms. Peters I need to

answer this. " I put her on speaker phone. "Hello Sandy" I spread the last syllable out to long and Alice and I both start

laughing. "Are you alright Ms. Swan?" I laugh at the question and its irony. "I'm as well as to be expected. How was

your day…evening?" She giggles and that is completely unlike Sandy. "It was the most beautiful night I've had as far

back as my memory allows. I wanted to thank you. This was more than I could have ever hoped. Johnny was a complete

gentlemen and he wants to see me again tomorrow for lunch. Can you believe it I have a date? Well sorry for bothering

you with my rubbish." I stop her before she hangs up, "Sandy I'm happy your happy and I can wait to see your new

look." She grins as she reply, "I went back to my old color, can't wait for you to see it." I feel so good inside that I was

able to help her. "You are most welcome and good luck in the romance department… you deserve it."

She hangs up after our good byes and I lay my phone on the stand next to the bed. I'm going to enjoy this high I'm on

for now because I know it will be a long day tomorrow. I start a new life without Mike and it scares me. I have lost so

much in one day but I have also gain a lot. I'm not alone and I thank the heavens for that. I need Alice now more than

ever and here she is; I couldn't be happier…even if it's just for a short while. I turn towards her and we turn the lights

off. We talk until we fall into a dreamless sleep. I've never known love like this. This is the beginning of an end and I

found what I need today to stop this madness in my life…Strength through friendship.

The Awakening

Dark waters crash upon my desolate shores but there is a small light in the distance. I run to it with the hopes of seeing

into this endless night.

I fall and darkness will not let me go but I will not give up the fight… for light calls to me. It pulls on the string of my heart and I break free from the night.

The water knocks me from my feet again and again as I cry for this struggle to end. The light comes towards me slowly and I scream for it to free me from sorrows cold lonely embrace.

I'm only steps away from the light and darkness swallows me in its black inky abyss. I can no longer see the light and I'm blinded by darkness seductive dance.

I sink slowly below the surface and unseen hands grab at my legs to pull me deeper in to my endless hell. I'm drowning and I can't get my head above water even though I fight. I fight. I fight.

When I can't fight any longer and all is lost. A warm hand reaches into the cold darkness and pulls me free. Now I can see the light glowing ever so brightly and I'm home in its unearthly glow.

I've never known love like this… So free from judgments watchful eyes. In the protected embrace of a friend that's where true healing begins.

(Let me have you…I turn to find a hand extended and smoldering grey eyes begging for my surrender….Edward.)

I sit up in bed as the world floods back in unable to catch my breath…what in the hell.


End file.
